I have been constantly learning since I've been in Vietnam. Sometimes, my head feels like it could explode with all of the information I'm packing up there, mostly that happens during my Vietnamese lessons. This past weekend, I had my most interesting lesson yet. Before I get into the story, I need to give a brief backstory. My roommate and I have been living at a lakeside apartment in Tay Ho with 24-hour security in the form of a rotating cadre of guards, mostly cute little older Vietnamese men who don't speak any English except for "hi" and "bye." The guards love my roommate because she's Vietnamese and talks with them on her way in and out. Apparently, they love me too because I'm so nice and respectful. My roommate's contract is up in 2 weeks and she is moving back to the US, so I had to either find a new roommate or a new apartment. I chose the latter as I thought it would be the easiest. So this past weekend, my roommate and I moved away from our security guards for a new apartment about a 20-minute walk away. After moving out and turning in our keys, we realized we left the remote to our DVD player and a pair of sandals at the old place, so we packed our gym bags, dropped them off at the gym, and headed to our old place to pick up our belongings.
Walking up to the apartment, we could see a table of men sitting by the lake across from the building. As we got closer, we realized it was our landlord and all of the security guards (together at one time which never happens) sitting down to Vietnamese-style tapas and beer. At this point, we knew we were in trouble because in the Vietnamese culture, it is almost 100% impossible to say no to a drink with an elder, a friend, or a stranger for that matter. After protesting just enough, we were presented with two stools and two glasses of beer to join the party.
That's where the education began. I learned that there are two kinds of Vietnamese men: the ones who are scared of their wives and the ones who say they aren't scared of their wives, but really they are the most scared. Talk to any man and you'd think women rule this country. They may not rule the country, but they are pretty formidable figures in the household. The next lesson was on how much men talk. If a man talks a lot, he must be so scared of his wife that he can't talk much at home. I didn't learn anything about men who don't talk that often, but I guess it is because they've learned from their wives that they shouldn't talk, and being scared of their wives, they listen.
For those of us who aren't married, there is apparently a method to picking your mate. We all know this. Pick someone you love, you share interests with, you trust, etc. However, based on my new education, you should pick based on age. Women should never marry someone younger than them because men mature at a slower pace. You can't always pick a guy a couple of years older than you. There's a method. When you're young and dating, you should date someone 2 years old than you. When you reach your 20s, you should be looking 3 to 4 years older. When you hit your 30s (god forbid you aren't married by then here), you should be looking for someone 6 to 7 years older than you. And the age difference continues to increase as you go up in age. Women should never marry someone younger because men will hit their midlife crisis and want someone younger. If you go for someone older, you'll be that younger woman, in theory of course.
I also learned about drinking (how polite girls don't drink as much as they really can in front of men), caught on to some Vietnamese phrases, learned a few new jokes, and tried some new food (both good and bad). It is always the unexpected moments where you have the most fun and learn the most interesting things. This was definitely one of them and my only regret is that I didn't have my camera with me to document the night.
That's where the education began. I learned that there are two kinds of Vietnamese men: the ones who are scared of their wives and the ones who say they aren't scared of their wives, but really they are the most scared. Talk to any man and you'd think women rule this country. They may not rule the country, but they are pretty formidable figures in the household. The next lesson was on how much men talk. If a man talks a lot, he must be so scared of his wife that he can't talk much at home. I didn't learn anything about men who don't talk that often, but I guess it is because they've learned from their wives that they shouldn't talk, and being scared of their wives, they listen.
For those of us who aren't married, there is apparently a method to picking your mate. We all know this. Pick someone you love, you share interests with, you trust, etc. However, based on my new education, you should pick based on age. Women should never marry someone younger than them because men mature at a slower pace. You can't always pick a guy a couple of years older than you. There's a method. When you're young and dating, you should date someone 2 years old than you. When you reach your 20s, you should be looking 3 to 4 years older. When you hit your 30s (god forbid you aren't married by then here), you should be looking for someone 6 to 7 years older than you. And the age difference continues to increase as you go up in age. Women should never marry someone younger because men will hit their midlife crisis and want someone younger. If you go for someone older, you'll be that younger woman, in theory of course.
I also learned about drinking (how polite girls don't drink as much as they really can in front of men), caught on to some Vietnamese phrases, learned a few new jokes, and tried some new food (both good and bad). It is always the unexpected moments where you have the most fun and learn the most interesting things. This was definitely one of them and my only regret is that I didn't have my camera with me to document the night.
Ahhh! I can just see you and D. sitting around getting that "real world" education! I'll bet they are going to miss the two of you! Better watch out...they will be trying to find you a man since you've already hit that dreaded 30 and are still single!
ReplyDeleteThey did try to set me up! They put my old landlord in charge of finding me a good man--older than me, of course!
ReplyDelete